Good Enough?
I did some curacy training recently at which we were asked to ponder some big questions.
One of those big questions was, "Do you feel good enough?" This is an issue I have long pondered over many years. I kind of know what the answer should be but God seems to take me on a different journey each time I ask myself the question.
This time, the journey took me along all kinds of paths, meandering around personal and ministry stuff, all bathed in the shadow of the news and the coverage of how women are treated and what, if anything, we can do about it.
And, as I meandered alongside this big question, a phrase met me:
"Stop trying to be a good girl and be God's girl."
This sounds obvious but to someone like me who has always tried to be "good", it's actually something of a revelation.
There is a difference.
So I wrote another poem to try and articulate this.....
Good Enough
Be a good girl.
Don’t make a fuss.
Be a good girl.
Stay small and don’t argue.
Be a good girl.
Don’t fight.
Be a good girl.
Don’t rock the boat.
But what if the boat gets rocked
anyway? What if waves crash
and tip you over while you’re being good?
What if I’m not good enough?
What if being good doesn’t make a difference?
What if my good can never be good enough to stop the
rocking?
And, there, in the eye of the storm,
In the midst of all the questions, is where a quiet
Knowing happens.
A knowing that I am not called to be a good girl.
I am called to be God’s girl.
Be God’s girl.
Know you are his precious child.
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Be God’s girl.
Know that his grace is sufficient.
Even when you are weak.
Be God’s girl.
Know that you matter.
You matter enough to die for.
Be God’s girl.
Follow his path.
Wherever it leads.
Be God’s girl.
Know that it is his truth and his light which count
And that they can shine from you.
So as the clouds roll
As the waves crash
As the boat rocks
I choose not to be a good girl.
I choose to be God’s girl.
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